1. I have been known to call the other person some creative names during a heated conversation. While I express my views strongly, name-calling is not part of my communication tool kit.
2. I have found that I can get to the bottom of an issue by asking simple questions and listening carefully to learn what others have to offer. I have found that I can get to the bottom of an issue by asking some pretty tough questions.
3. I can put my own ideas at arms' length while I listen to the views of others. Even though I show interest and agreement while others express their views, I often find myself debating them in my head.
4. I retreat from conversations with others when it is obvious that we disagree. Because I have gotten some great results by listening to and learning from others, I listen well to those who disagree with me.
5. Usually I speak my mind and still leave room to listen to the views of others. I would rather remain silent and keep to myself when issues are controversial or when they don't interest me.
6. I keep my attention focused on the person who is speaking, even when they aren't exactly eloquent. In my eagerness to share my ideas, I sometimes cut people off, particularly if they are slow talkers.
7. When I am talking with others about a touchy subject, I make sure I describe what I think and why-in other words, I give others my opinion and the data behind it. I do my best to get others to see my point of view, but if that doesn't work, I resort to authority and company policy to convince others of my position.
8. When someone disagrees with me, I put a lot of effort into asking for new information that may help me understand why we disagree. When someone disagrees with me, I play to win by keeping my ideas to myself.
9. I usually take the time to think through a situation before sharing my views. Sometimes it's just too hard to keep some of my more fiery thoughts from spilling out of my mouth.
10. I often pay full attention to what others are saying to understand their point of view. To avoid conflict, I usually keep my disagreements or views to myself.
11. When I know I'm right, I usually avoid potential disagreements by keeping my ideas to myself. I know that what I think and feel are not always accurate or helpful.
12. In order to avoid conflict, I sometimes downplay or dismiss my own ideas, even when I feel they are better than what I hear others presenting. I am pretty good at expressing my ideas both confidently and openly.
13. I find that I sometimes ask questions as a way of making my point. When I ask questions, it is mostly to help me understand, clarify, and learn.
14. When listening, I evaluate the positives and negatives of others' ideas to use to my advantage. When someone else is making a point, I focus on understanding what he or she is saying, rather than immediately evaluating it.
15. I often stop what I am thinking and put my ideas aside so that I can better explore others' ideas. Rather than wait until the end of another's comments, I find it helpful to question and critique each idea along the way.
16. When I begin to feel less than confident about what I'm thinking, I ask questions that don't matter, rather than direct questions about my concerns. I often ask others what they think of my ideas to help me test my own thinking.
17. If the person I am talking with starts getting in my face, I do the same, while continuing to make my point. If people start on the attack, I work hard to understand their views before I share mine.
18. I like it when people are straight to the point, rather than having to figure out what they are really saying. I'm pretty good at noticing other people's tone of voice and non-verbal cues so that I can pick up on what they are really saying.
19. If a person is saying something I've heard before, I listen carefully to assure I understand his point. If what a person is saying is not new to me, I sometimes fake interest.
20. It is a lot easier to take people at their word rather than ask a lot of questions. I ask questions that seem to help people feel safe enough to share what is really on their minds, even if it's pretty controversial.
21. Rather than being direct or to the point, I use humor or sarcasm to express my disagreement. Because of the open way I express my views, I tend to influence others' opinions.
22. It is commonplace for me to make up my mind and then have new data change my thinking. Once I make up my mind and firmly establish my view, I use what authority I can to support my position.
23. I listen for the ideas of others to support my point of view. I listen carefully to what people say to find useful ways to integrate our ideas.
24. I gather information from as many relevant sources as possible so that I can make valuable contributions to the conversation. I gather information behind the scenes so I will know what others are likely to say and how I might challenge their views.
25. In my conversations, I make an effort to be sure we all get "air time." In conversations, I continue to present and champion my views until others accept my thinking.
26. Sometimes I speak too forcefully and regret my reaction later. I try to pay attention to my own feelings and thoughts and try not to react abruptly.
27. I make a conscious effort to listen to others, rather than guess what they are trying to say. When I know what others are going to say, I sometimes find myself finishing their sentences for them.
28. I usually find it easy to ask questions because I am so curious about what others think and why. I like to ask questions to reveal how poorly others have thought things through.
29. If I have something useful and relevant to say on a subject, I don't hold anything back with the intention of using it later as a trump card. If sharing an idea is risky, I may find an excuse to leave the conversation for the moment.
30. I can usually tell when someone is holding back and not saying what he or she really thinks. It's hard for me to know what's going on with others, so I usually don't ask.
31. I am often curious about whatever is being discussed. When I disagree with what is being discussed, I avoid taking a position that would create discomfort for others or myself.
32. I like to hear what others have to say because sometimes it gives me new ways of looking at the data I already have. I would rather understand what others think before I reveal my views and run the risk of looking stupid.
